Breaking free 


2.21.16 Land’s End Trail, San Francisco

Some days it feels like everything that could possibly go wrong,  goes wrong. You miss the bus by 0.2 seconds, you spill coffee on your new favorite top, or you keep bumping into that one person you’ve been avoiding for months- we’ve all been there. Lately, I keep feeling like the good fortune I began 2016 with ran out and all odds are against me. This of course isn’t true at all, but my mind tends to blow small things out of proportion with constant overthinking and a tendency to think of the worst case scenario. I’m stuck in a funk where I feel that whatever I do is going to go wrong and so, of course, it does. How do you get out of feeling like everything you’ve done or tried to do is a disaster or failure? That has been the question bothering me for a couple days now. How do you get back up after having risen so much?

One of my favorite quotes is an old Japanese proverb that says “Fall seven times, Stand up eight”. This quote reminds me that no matter how many times I feel that I’ve hit rock bottom, I must get back up. So therefore sticking to this old Japanese saying, I’m going to stand up again.
I have complied a short list of things that help me get through a difficult period and hopefully these will help you as well.

  1.  Surround yourself by people you love 
    When we’re in a bad place, it’s good to go out with friends and blow off some steam. It’s nice to vent out to a good friend about how you just don’t feel like yourself lately. It will help you get those feelings out here and start focusing on the positive.
  2. Do things that make you happy
    In the midst of a life re-evaluation, it’s good to stick to doing what brings happiness. That could mean a great array of things whether that means dancing, writing, surfing, playing music, etc anything that will distract you. Doing things you like will distract you from dwelling on whatever it is that has been bringing you down lately, shifting your attention instead on being happy.
  3. Remember to keep your eye on the prize
    Even when you fall, you can’t stay on the ground and throw yourself a pity party. Get back up and try again, remember what your end goal is and picture yourself there.
  4. Don’t put yourself down
    It’s difficult to have confidence in yourself after you have just failed, but the more you keep thinking about the failure the less you do to try to come back from that place. It’s really easy to put yourself down and make yourself feel worse, but learn to forgive yourself. Remember all the great you’ve done and how much more you can do if you just try again.

  I’m trying to be okay again. Hiking, going on long walks, or adventures on my own always cheers me up, that is my escape. This week I visited Land’s End/Sutro Baths (pictured above) with two great friends and it helped clear my head. What do you do when you feel down?

I hope this post has found you well and inspired you to go do something awesome. love always,

Montse x

Breaking free 

2016 bucket list

Every year I have tried to keep a memory jar(a jar filled with little notes where I write good things/memories of the year) so I could read them at the end of the year and be thankful of all the good that happened. 2015 was a great year, however, there were not as many little memories in my jar as there have been in previous years. That is because while a lot of good happened that I forgot to record, a lot of bad happened as well. It was a year full of transitions, finishing high school and entering college. Living with my parents in LA to living in San Francisco on my own. Although I have some great memories that happened in 2015, everything was scary in an exciting way. Going into my second semester of college now, I feel more grounded, knowing my limits but also knowing everything I am capable of accomplishing.
Each year I feel that I could have done some things differently or done more. Done more to give back, done more to be happy, done more to be successful. I don’t want to feel like I’m not doing enough anymore. I want to give back to my community. I want to do something for myself that is not only for myself, but for others as well. I want to do more; exploring more, writing more, volunteering more. I don’t want to feel empty wasting my time in bed or in front of my laptop screen watching Netflix. I think we all need to do a little more, not just for ourselves but for those around us. With that in mind, I have a complied a small list of things I wish to do in 2016. This is a short list because I sincerely want to be able to accomplish all of the things on this list, feel free to take any of these ideas to compile your own list.

2016 bucket list:

  • Volunteer for an organization I believe in for a cause I’m passionate about
  • Visit Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, and one state I’ve never been to before
  • Read at least 30 books
  • Learn to speak French fluently
  • Write at least one blog post or journal entry per week
  • Try surfing or scuba diving
  • Camp at a place I’ve never camped before
  • Go on a run at least once a week (or a nice long bike ride)
  • Try to cook more
  • Clean out closet twice a year and donate clothes.

These are just a few of the many things I hope to this year, but I hope that as I slowly accomplish these small goals I will continue to add on to it.

Thanks for reading and go do something awesome!

love x,


2016 bucket list

When Christmas is just another day

When I was younger, Christmas was probably the most anticipated day of the year. I knew Christmas was coming when my grandma would start praying the rosary everyday starting from the first of December. My grandfather would spend days working on putting lights up around his house, while my grandmother would build a beautiful “nacimiento” that took up half the living room. The days slowly got shorter and colder but it was always warm and welcoming in my grandparent’s home. Since we are a Mexican family, we have always celebrated with a big Christmas eve dinner until midnight to welcome the beginning of Christmas day together. Christmas eve was a night spent with my big family eating tamales(which we were not allowed to eat before we all prayed as a family), dancing, and enjoying each other’s company. I remember the laughter and the fun I had dancing to songs my mom and aunts used to dance to when they were young. My cousins and I impatiently waited for the clock to tick 12 to open the presents, never really caring what the present was but just wanting the excitement of ripping through the perfectly wrapped boxes. We even started to have “snowball” fights using the tissue and wrapping paper from all the presents, which would quickly end after we accidentally broke something and pissed off all the parents.

Now that I’m older Christmas is different. It’s never as exciting as it once was when I was younger, especially since my grandparents moved back to Mexico a couple years back. I have actually come to kind of hate the holiday season. It starts earlier and earlier every year and somehow you can never escape the relentless Christmas carols on repeat since before Thanksgiving. Despite this, I was able to appreciate a very nice Christmas eve dinner with my family this year. Maybe it was because I have been away for so long since I started college that I truly appreciated just being around all my family once again. Although it will never compare to Christmas when I was younger, I’ve learned that in the end it really isn’t about the presents, carols, or Christmas trees. It really is just about getting together with family and enjoying each other’s company by sharing stories and some good laughs. Family has always been an important aspect of my life and I’m glad I’m back home to appreciate them again for a little while. I hope you all enjoy the season with your loved ones. Take care and enjoy this photo of my little brother and me in our modeling days.

IMG_20151225_0002 (2)
My brother and I for our 2002 family Christmas card.

love always,

Montse x

When Christmas is just another day

Still learning…

Over the past few years, I have started several blogs. Each dying quickly or not living up to what I wanted them to be due to a lack of time/energy to maintain a blog. My new year’s resolution is that this blog will be different. A lot of things have changed since the last time I started a blog, I have learned more about myself and what I want to do. I have decided to do this as a creative outlet and also to hopefully bring me closer to figuring out what I want to do with my life.
In early August, I moved to San Francisco for college and I’ve learned a lot about what it means to grow up and be my own person since then. I’ve been able to manage my time for school and work, but have not dedicated enough time to doing things that make me happy such as: reading, writing, listening to music, learning to play guitar, etc. This upcoming semester I’m going to dedicate more time to myself and with that time I hope to create something I’m proud of with this blog. There is a quote by Pearl S. Buck that I found in my planner a couple weeks ago that stuck with me. The quote is “Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment,”. It stuck with me because I have always been insecure about my writing and have kept poems and short stories hidden in my journals instead of sharing them with others. I have learned that doing this is not bringing me any closer to my goals because you can not improve without the feedback of others and you also can’t express yourself without sharing it with someone else. I am finally comfortable enough with myself to share what I have to say with other people and I hope that you my readers respond positively to what I have to say and share. I hope to meet new people and also grow more as a person. I’m ready for the new adventure and hope you tag along.

yours truly,

Montse xx

Still learning…